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Support for grandparents on the neonatal unit

Being a parent of a baby in neonatal care is a tough journey but we also understand it affects the wider circle of family, like grandparents.

It can be hard for grandparents on the neonatal unit. Seeing your grandchild or grandchildren in neonatal care is tough, especially if they’re very premature or poorly.

Grandparents on the neonatal unit will naturally worry about the baby, but they also have to watch their son or daughter experience fear and trauma.

As a grandparent, you’re often the centre of a support network for parents, especially if there are siblings to look after. You may also be asked to keep up with the practical jobs at home, and are the main source for information and updates for everyone else. It can be draining.

It’s common for grandparents to feel like they should put everyone else’s feelings before their own. You may feel a bit useless, like there is nothing you can do. But trust us when we say your support is so important and many of us couldn’t function without you.

Top tips for grandparents on the neonatal unit

To guide and support you during your family’s neonatal journey, here are some tips from other grandparents who have experienced neonatal care:

  • Try and make some time for yourself if possible. You might be run ragged trying to help but you’re no good to anyone if you don’t eat, rest and sleep.

  • As situations change quickly in NICU so may plans, especially when it comes to visitors. Don’t be afraid to ask people not to visit if that’s what your son or daughter wants. People will understand.

  • It’s tempting to take over. When my grandson was born, my daughter wanted me by her side constantly. When he became stable, she kept making excuses why I shouldn’t be on the unit all the time. I took it personally and it was only after we had a few words I realised she just needed time to bond with him. I stepped back a little for a while and it helped her and her partner work on being his parents. It allowed me to concentrate on becoming a grandma too and I soon got my cuddles.

  • Try not to keep referring to how you did things with your own babies. It was only when my son-in-law snapped at me about it, I realised it wasn’t helping. Things are different now and babies in NICU have different needs.

Keep up to date with our events and find out how you can help families experiencing neonatal care on our Facebook page.

Mum, child and grandparent all smiling.