I first came across Spoons when I met a volunteer on the neonatal unit when my daughter was born. I kept one of the leaflets in the Spoons welcome pack. At first, I didn’t feel like I deserved the support as my baby was full term. It wasn’t until 6 months on, that I recognised I was struggling, and I felt isolated after the NICU experience. I used the leaflet to reach out for some advice and support.
Spoons means everything to me. They helped me find the light in a dark place. I realised through the support I received from Spoons, that it doesn’t matter if you’re in NICU for one day or one month – the experience still has an impact on you. Even though my baby girl was full term, my feelings were still valid.
The gestation of your baby or the time spent in NICU doesn’t matter, it still hurts and the experiences and affects are still similar, to those who face the challenge of a premature birth. One of the biggest challenges I found, was the grief of the experience you thought you would have.
If I was to share any advice with other parents, it would be – don’t be afraid to speak up if you need support.
Take every moment in and enjoy and celebrate all the highs and the achievements. Make new memories, don’t take on the pressure to be “normal” and make your own milestones. Know that you’re not alone.
The experience of neonatal care is one you can’t imagine and understand unless you’ve been there. The connection of lived experience is something that is so important. It enables conversation where you don’t have to over explain and re-live the experience all the time but you can share it and heal from it.
I have been so honoured through the volunteer role and now as a staff member supporting the community groups to watch and see families grow from the NICU journey to massive milestones. I love the Spoons family and community of support and the fact we make a difference together. I wish I had found the Spoons groups earlier for myself. I had my first group with Beth before I joined and I’ll never forget how I didn’t feel so alone from that and everything I was feeling, others were feeling too and no one made me feel like I was the “crazy one”.
If you feel like you could benefit from support too, contact the Spoons team.
